You’re not sure why you crave something you know will destroy you. If it ever happens, you'll cease to be a singular soul. You'll have to join with another, and become someone entirely new. You know it isn’t pretty. You know it’s messy and often ugly. It’s devastating, of this you’re fully aware, and yet you still desire it beyond all else. Always hopeful to be stolen by it, swept up and falling into...

Perhaps it’s simply your love of playing with fire?

It’s a shattering experience. Life altering, soul modifying. You know its anarchy. Destruction before construction. Demolish what was there, rebuild stronger joined as two. 
It’s crushing, humbling and overwhelming. It’s embarrassing, pathetic, and shameless. It has to be if you expect it to succeed. You must surrender to the tidal pull of another. You must submit to the power of two combined. 

You are no longer you. You are now, us and we. You hand yourself over to the other. 

It’s life altering. Others are left in ruins. You are left as nothing more than a remnant. You must rebuild, remake and remember. You are never the same. They are never the same. It’s a before and after episode. 

You have no choice. It’s a demon who burgles your deepest secrets. It’s a cresting wave, pummeling you into the depths. You have no say in the matter. It is bigger than you or them. It’s a deity demanding you bow and worship at it’s alter. Scrape and beg, plead and surrender. Succumb. 

It sweeps you up into a hurricane of destruction. It blows through you without a care for who you once were. No matter your preparations, no matter how long you’ve sought this elusive beast, no matter…

It will destroy you, and still you seek nothing else.

~Payne Hawthorne

All roads lead to Payne